Palettal Prose: Hello Moonlight

Hello moonlightmaxresdefault

this poem

is a leak

from my heart

expressing

the existence of my love4498a689214b3790a97b3a1210817382

as the blood continues

pumping a message

through my veins to voice it out

hello I’m in love with you

it’s a beautiful story8c60c8f6b350cbb5420b23e42a13affc-d90r1p8

it’s my poetry speaking

I’m voicing it out to you

light is illuminating

that dark side

into disintegrationeb002e5e9f9311f84ca1c416da626ef2

hello I’m in love

inspiration heart

that what you are

unconditional love

is the seed you planted in me

moonlight

in a beautiful night

guides me back home

~Don Jose Ruiz

Turning 30 like a Yogi

Another birthday has come and gone and the statistics are in. Facebook wall posts held steady at 60 something with belated wishes still trickling in. Text messages are up from last year, as are private messages. Phone calls have stayed a consistent three.

According to social media, I’m really quite popular.

But here’s the thing.

I spent my birthday alone this year.

For the first time.

And it was the big 3-0.

I don’t generally call for big fan fare on my ‘big day’, liking to keep things low key….but to be alone? Well, that’s new.

How did it make me feel? Well, I can admit that as plans were slowly cancelled, I was a little sad. After all, it’s 30! But it didn’t get me down for long. Overall, it was kind of…neat.

I’m supposed to have matured beyond that sort of thing by now…right? And thank goodness! If I’d had to spend an early 20 something birthday alone, I probably wouldn’t have coped as well.

I suppose this is a bonus to being an official ‘grown up’. You just don’t take things as personally. At least, you’re not supposed to.

I could have, maybe should have, taken a look at my relationships at this point and questioned if my solo-ness was a result of how I run them. Maybe I don’t put in enough effort. Maybe I don’t express my love. Maybe I should give more or be more, but let’s be honest, that’s a terrible thing to do to yourself any day of the year, but particularily so on your day of birth.

And it goes against the above-outlined adult-wisdom of ‘it’s not personal’.

And it isn’t. Life happens. We have obligations to family, to work, to our health. There’s Canadian winter-road conditions…

I don’t think I even informed the cancelling invites it was my birthday!

I suppose that’s another difference between 20 something and 30 something.

In your 20s life revolves around fun and your friends and parties (for the most part) but as you move yourself through the decade there are suddenly children, careers, partners, and mortgages (for some of us anyways, I’m slow to evolve to such things).

Other things hold your attention. This is a good thing.

By 30 most of us enjoy our own company anyways.

I’m happy alone.

I’m happy with company too.

Mostly, I enjoy being alone. Though with two canines, I suppose I never really am.

Thank you Ann Schwartz for the great photo!

Thank you Ann Schwartz for the great photo!


The point is, I’m just happy. I have the pleasure of making that decision for myself because as Don Miguel Ruiz tells us, we are all creators. With that, we and we alone have the power to create not only our lives but the way we feel about them as well. I’ve chosen a life of BLISS and with continual reminders to myself and conscious creation, I have it. For the most part. It takes practice but one day it will just be.

And 30 is great because you’re no longer eating ramen noodles for every meal!

You drink every night but never get drunk (hang overs just aren’t worth it any more!).

The days of six-packs for six dollars are behind you, if you want them to be.

You don’t get sexy with anyone unless you really want to; there’s no more guilt attached to sex.

You have disposable income.

You go to bed by ten (sometimes) which feels normal and waking up at seven feels equally normal.

Essentially, the closer you get to relieving yourself of your 20s the more tangible freedom exists.

There’s a responsibility that comes with this new decade though.

By now, you should know how to fold a fitted sheet. It’s really quite easy and an essential life skill.

You need to be able to say ‘I’m sorry.’

And write thank you letters.

You need to be able to forgive.

And hold yourself accountable.

Here’s the thing.

Talking to my father, I realized, I don’t have any 20 something excuses left.

He laughed and told me at least I have my blond excuses.

But I just dyed my hair…

By 30, you’re more comfortable expressing yourself and speaking your truth regardless of the repercussions.

You stick up for yourself.

Your relationships change. Some disolve, others form, and loved ones return.

There is constant evolution.

More and more I crave stability and stillness.

I will not miss the days of seasonal living….at least not for a while.

I still need adventure. I pray that never changes.

I get to be comfortable in my own skin and no longer care about ‘being cool’.

I’m can easily admit that four minute down dogs inspired by Chantal Kreviazuk, make me a little emotional.

As do three minute hero poses to Coldplay.

In private of course.

I haven’t evolved to the point of public emotional releases just let. Being a Scorpio, reserved and composed by nature, that will probably have to wait until 40.

I can also admit, without embarrassment, that my yoga mat, tights, and speaker all (accidentally) match.

Tights, Mat, Music

Accidental or not, that would have never happened in my 20s (don’t ask me how, I just know these things).

Recent feedback I got about my writing was to put more ‘me’ into it. That’s going to be a 30 something goal, beginning with this post.

Hopefully you like me but it’s ok if you don’t.

Something particularly wonderful about a solo birthday is the personal space for ritual. I was blessed with the gift of a full moon in Taurus (far more appreciated than the foot of snow received). As mentioned in other posts, full moons are great opportunities to purge.

And so, I took this opportunity to do just that.

I let go of my 20s (though not my youth).

And I purged insecurity.

Post asana, I sat and reflected on this. Not only did I commit to releasing myself of insecurity but listed the different (and apparently many) ways in which I experience it.

Purge Insecurity

And then, I went downstairs and I burnt the list.

They say after you empty yourself of something (purge) it is important to fill yourself back up.

Dance party it is. First, soft sways and swoons, followed by hair shaking anthems, and finally, concluding with some sexy hip shaking.

I am after all, a 30-something, former dancer turned yogi-mountain girl, and everyone should get to be sexy on their birthday.

From my heart to yours, Jenn

Full Moon October 18 – 19 : Theme – Gestation – AA Michael

Sacred Ascension - Key of Life - Secrets of the Universe

 

fullmoonDearly beloved children of light, we come to you once again in the preparation of the full moon that is about to open its gateway into your subconsciousness .

 

The theme of the upcoming portal is Gestation a period of gestation has indeed began for new consciousness, and we urge all of you to partake of the upcoming energies and fill your heart with the love and light that this portal brings its way.

 

We the guardian angels for your souls are standing by you ready to assist you in the newly formed earth consciousness. For the consciousness that you are finding yourselves in now at this present moment in time, is indeed the consciousness that all of you have been waiting for. For it is now that you can truly open up to your own selves, it is now that you can freely walk amongst your…

View original post 325 more words

SuperMoon: Purging and Responsibility

Today’s full Moon shifts from fiery Sagittarius into Earthy Capricorn for the next two and a half days. The second of three super moon’s in a row, it’s said to be the most ‘super’ of five in 2013. Supermoons are defined as “…… a new or full moon which occurs with the moon at or near (within 90% of) its closest approach to Earth in a given orbit.” There tends to be 4-6 a year. This one however, is the closest moon to the earth in 2013.
Sagittarius had us shaking and moving about both inside and out bringing out our youthful, restless, more childlike selves. A great time to explore and use our bodies, we’re given an opportunity to address our situations with fresh honesty and philosophy. Through that honesty however, we have to be aware of loosing tact.
Shifting into Capricorn later in the day our fire turns to earth as we move our focus towards accomplishing our goals and putting in the required effort that we may reap the benefits of a job well done. It grants us an opportunity to accomplish short-term goals as we learn to manage our own personal world while leaving others to manage themselves.
Combined with a Sun in watery Cancer, we appreciate the security and comfort of family and home. Like all water signs (Scorpio, Pisces, Cancer), the next month gifts us with a steady flow of sensitivity and emotion. It’s important at this time not to take things too seriously as Capricorn, combined with Cancer brings out a more serious tone. Don’t forget to play and enjoy the season! Do however, take advantage of the opportunity to accomplish things you may have been putting off at home or in your relationships.

Supermoon

Full Moons are an excellent time for purging anything that may not be working for you. Clearing the clutter from your life both within yourself and in your surroundings make space for something else. It allows an opportunity to invite into your life what may serve you better while removing what you no longer need. Clear your cupboards, remove clutter, clean out your closets to allow the energy in your home to move freely.
I’ve included a purging meditation for you below. Have a pen and paper handy. Begin my getting into a comfortable position either seated or laying down.
“Close your eyes and take a two cleansing breaths through your nose. Invite any guardian angels, spirit helpers, animal spirit guides, or ancestors you may work with to join you at this time. Throughout this process, remember that they are here with you, protecting you and keeping you safe.
Imagine now a beam of light coming from the heavens through your crown chakra, down your spine, and coming out through the root chakra as it descends to the earth, bringing together Heaven and Earth.
Take another deep breath in and as you exhale, picture a ball of light in your heart chakra. It can be any colour or shape. It may appear to you simply as white light. Sit with it a moment and enjoy its warmth. With your next exhale, allow the light to expand from your heart to surround you completely. Take a moment to feel the warmth of its cocoon. Notice how good it feels in this place. With your next exhale, allow the light to expand even further, surrounding the space you are in and out into the world.

From the corner of your eye, something catches your attention. It is familiar, something inside yourself or in your life and you recognize it immediately as something that is not serving you. It may be a thought or emotion that holds you back. It may be a frustration or a damaged relationship.
If feelings of fear or discomfort arise, acknowledge them, then draw from the light you’ve surrounded yourself with. Draw from the love and wisdom of your guides and allow them to carry that weight for you.
Walk up to whatever it is that is not serving you and face it. Allow yourself to feel any emotion that may arise. Acknowledge it and tell it there is no longer a place for it in your life.
Visualize the string you feel between you and it. In your hands, grab hold of it where it joins on your side and untie the knot that binds it to you. Do not cut the string but untie it and release it that there are no lingering pieces attached to you.
Note how you feel. Is there an open space where it used to reside? Has a weight been lifted? How does that feel? What may fit where it used to be?
Allow yourself the time you need to return to your self. Thank your helpers for making the journey with you and for protecting you. When ready, slowly bring movement back into your body and open your eyes.”
Once complete, write down what you’ve chosen to purge from your life. A great ritual to include with this is to burn this paper immediately thus releasing it from your life. Remember, you have a wonderful piece of open real estate where it used to reside! Take a moment to reflect on what may be able to go there instead!
Happy full moon, don’t forget to take a peak and have a howl!
From my heart to yours, Jenn